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Archive for April, 2014

Is She Looking at Me Funny?

Is she looking at me funny? I think she is. Great. We haven’t even started yet and she’s already looking at me funny. What do I say first? Oh man, is that sweat dripping down my back? Seriously!? I can’t breathe. I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest. She must be able to see me shaking. That must be why she’s looking at me funny. C’mon. When is it going to start? Okay, calm down. You’ve done this a million times before, and you’ve certainly gone through worse. You’ve given birth — twice. You made those candy coated marshmallow mini-fig heads. Now THAT was hard. Shoot. I have to make what, 30 more for Hayden’s party? Which day should I make the…

“You may begin.”

Oh crap. Grab ankles, heads down! Grab ankles, heads down! Grab ankles, heads down! Grab ankles, heads down! Oh enough already! How many times is she going to make me shout this? Grab ank…

“EVACUATE!”

Oh thank god! Okay what now? Seat belts. Right. Open seat belts! Open seat belts! Okay, grab the flashlight, don’t forget the flashlight. Out of my way! Out of those seats! Wait. Why is it quiet? Why aren’t they shouting up front anymore? Just keep going — don’t think about them. Prepare, assess, Stand Back, open the window. Assess again, lean out far but not too far. Okay almost done. Now what? You! Open that window! You! Stay on the wing, help the people, send them that way! Okay. Move to my protected position. Leave everything! Come this way! Exit here! Step through! That’s it, right? Isn’t she going to tell me to stop? Did I get it all? Leave everything… Why isn’t she saying anything? I must have forgotten something…. Come this way! Exit…

“That’s it. You’re good for another year. Great job. Piece of cake, right?”

Oh no! The cake! I forgot to order the cake!
When birthday planning and Recurrent Training collide….

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