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Archive for the ‘Quick Laughs’ Category

If the checkout lady at the supermarket smiles at you warily, and you take that as an invitation to tell her your life story, you may need a mommy’s night out.

If you find yourself shouting to Dora, “It’s the right path.  The RIGHT Path!  The one WITHOUT the snakes!”, you may need a mommy’s night out.

If you own makeup that expired the same year your 5 year old was born, you may need a mommy’s night out.

If anticipating Gymboree’s newest line release is the most excitement you’ve had in nearly a lifetime, you may need a mommy’s night out.

If your two year old pulls a pair of heels out from the depths of your closet and asks you, “Wha’s dat, Mommy?” because he has never seen any shoes other than flip flops grace your feet, you may need a mommy’s night out.

If you have to think for a moment to remember your husband’s first name because you’ve been calling him Daddy for so long, you may need a mommy’s night out.

If you have to think for a moment to remember your own first name, you most definitely need a mommy’s night out.

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As I was blow drying my hair this morning, Addison ran into the bathroom and shouted,

“Were you scared, Mommy?” he asked eagerly.

“Nope. Not this time.”

“But Mom,” he whined, “How come I can’t ever scare you?”

I turned off the blow dryer and set it on the vanity.  “Because, honey, you are loud most of your life.  So lots of times Mommy tunes you out just so she can keep her sanity.  Especially early in the morning.  When you run up to me and yell ‘BLAH!HA!HA!HA!’, mostly I just hear ‘blahblahblahblahblah’.  Especially when I have the blow dryer on.  Better luck next time, kiddo.  Now, get so I can finish getting ready.  Love ya, buddy.”

“But don’t I ever scare you?”

“Honey, you scare me most when you’re quiet.  That’s when I know there’s something really scary going on.”

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Dialing for Dollars

Addison kept begging to call his nana.  I should have known to ask why.

After dialing and handing him the phone, I heard, “Hi Nana.  Will you send me a card with some more money in it?  You don’t even need to put any words in it, just dollars….. Okay, sooooooo, when you gonna do it?”

After he hung up, he said to me, “C’mon, Mom.  Let’s go down to the mailbox. Nana just sent me some money.”

Just in case you are wondering why my young son is fund-raising, he has been saving every single penny he has ever been able to call his own (and a few he can’t) to take his best little girlfriend back to Disneyland.  I believe he is up to a whopping $36.  Sweet, right?!

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Knock Knock Knocking

You know how kids do and say the silliest things, and you vow to remember them, but never do?  Well, I need to get this one written down before it’s lost from my memory forever, and this seems as good as any place to do it.

I’d say this happened between 6-18 months ago.  Yes, that timeline should pretty well cover it.

I was driving somewhere, and all three kids were in the back seat.  Peyton kept yelling at Addison to stop hitting her, and I did my best to pretend I was in the car alone.  In other words, I turned the music volume up.  But that never works, does it?  The kids just get louder.

“Mohom, Addison’s hitting me.”

Music up.

“Mom!  He won’t stop hitting me!”

Music Up.

“MOM!  He’s still hitting me!”

Music UP.

“MOM!!!  He’s hitting me on the head!”

Music DOWN.

I shout, “Addison, stop hitting your sister on the head!”

To which Addison replies,

I’m not hitting her on the head, I’m knocking on the door to her imagination.

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Cupcake

We have some friends who live in San Diego that we are fortunate enough to get to spend some time with each year when they come up to visit family.  They have a boy named Collin and a little girl Addison’s exact age, named Brooke.  Our kids love playing with them!

On their last visit it became quite evident that we don’t spend enough time with them, as Addison kept asking, over and over, what that little girl’s name was.  Repeatedly, I told him “These are your friends, Brooke and Collin” just to have him ask her name again a few minutes later.  He soon came to me and said, “Since you won’t tell me what that little girl’s name is, I am going to call her Cupcake, but don’t tell her that.”  Could that be anymore adorable?

Another question he asked a few times about Collin, but that I obviously didn’t pay enough attention to was,  “What’s wrong with him?” to which I would respond, “Nothing, why?” and he would just shrug his shoulders in an I-don’t-know fashion.

It wasn’t until a few days later in their visit that I finally put two and two together, when Addison came to me and asked, “Do I get to play with Broken Collin and Cupcake today?”

Hopefully, it won’t take you as long to figure out as it did me!

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Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I woke Addison up at 1:00am and took him for a midnight swim. This morning he told me I’m the coolest mom he’s ever had, but could we just swim during the day from now on?

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Addison’s Fishing Wand

Patrick came home early from work to take the boys fishing.  Apparently Addison doesn’t quite have the lingo yet, as he told me he couldn’t wait to get to the lake to catch some fish with his new fishing wand.  For those of you who know him, isn’t that just the perfect picture of him?  Waving his fishing wand over the water and truly believing….

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